Saturday, November 21, 2009

Am I... ?

There's a new TV show on this fall that I've really been enjoying watching. The show is NBC's Mercy, a hospital drama that focuses on the nurses who work in the ICU ward of a hospital (the "Mercy" of the title). At least, I think it's the ICU. It's hard to tell - it's not a very realistic hospital, now that I think about it. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that every single episode of this show has made me cry. Every. Single. Episode. I was just watching an episode that had been on last week (I had it saved on the DVR), and I thought I was going to get through it without a tear, but then, right at the end... BAM. And I was crying.

So this got me thinking. If something as simple as a TV show can make me cry week after week, is that a sign of something more?

Am I depressed?

My doctor asked me that question the last time I saw him, and I wasn't sure how to answer it. I go through a lot of moods throughout any given day, but I don't know if I'm actually depressed. And the last thing I need is another pill to take every day. But maybe some therapy might be good?

The last time I tried therapy, it didn't go well. I went into it not really prepared - I didn't know what I wanted to get out of it, and the therapist ended up fixated on one area of my life that I wasn't really sure needed to be repaired. I quit going without getting out of it, and I'm not sure that if I went back (even with a new therapist) that it would be any better. I think I'm too stubborn to get anything out of therapy at all.

Of course, there's still the question of whether I even need it or not.

But as I've been writing this post, I've also been watching the movie "Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay," and now, at the end, it's making me tear up a bit.

There's gotta be something wrong with me.

No comments:

Post a Comment