Reflections on November

I know I haven't updated this blog in a long time. I blame the month of November.

It's National Novel Writing Month, and I've been working hard on the Great American Novel. Wait, that's not right. It's more like the Great American Failure. The idea of NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I got to 31,000 and just hit a wall. I'm lacking all motivation to continue, and I only have 3 days left in November.

I'm having a hard time lately with personal motivation in all aspects of my life, not just in writing - though writing is where it is most obvious, at least right now.

I don't think I'm a writer. I've written numerous novels - well, at least parts of numerous novels, but none of them are worthy of editing or finishing. Really, they're awful. The only things I write that are even remotely "good" are the posts I make in this blog, and even that is a specific kind of writing. I have fun with this thing, but it's hard to think of myself as a writer - I'm more of a blogger, really. And that's ok.

But it gets me thinking.... why do I bother with NaNo anymore? I don't ever get anything out of it. I just end up mad at myself for not trying harder and not managing my time well. It's just another example of how I start things and never finish them. I've had that problem my entire life.

I should have spent my November doing something more valuable - like cleaning my house and making more jewelry to sell for the holidays. And one of these days I should probably finish my blog posts about Vegas.