This post is going to be a bit of a rant. Just wanted to give you fair warning.
I used to describe myself as a hopeless romantic. I loved anything with a love story, and had countless fantasies where I found true love with the perfect man, and we'd live happily ever after. I just knew it had to happen to me some day.
Then I grew up. I'm still a sucker for a love story in fiction, but when it comes to myself, I've lost hope. One of the reasons I've decided to have my big birthday party in Vegas this fall is because I've convinced myself that I'm never going to have a wedding - you know, the day you get to dress like a princess and profess your love in front of your family and friends - and I want a day that's really all about me. I want to have a kid someday. Really. But I also have a hard time seeing myself as the single mom type, so I doubt it's going to happen because I'll never find a father for the little tyke.
I am now a skeptical romantic. Deep down, I want to believe that everything I thought of as a kid is true, and magic will still happen. But the realist in me knows that's never going to happen.
This brings us to the matter at hand: Valentine's Day.
Sorry about that. It's just that we've been hit over the head so many times with how wonderful Valentine's Day is, and how great it is to celebrate the love you share for your partner with a special day filled with candy and flowers and... all that magic crap I dreamed of as a kid. Except it's all hogwash. We're hit over the heads with it because it's all about money. The candy companies and the flower companies and the diamond companies want you to buy into the implied necessity to shower your significant other with gifts. I mean, if your boyfriend doesn't buy you a diamond necklace for Valentine's day, he doesn't really love you, right?
Allow me to reiterate: *puke*
Yeah, presents are nice. I wouldn't reject that diamond necklace if someone gave it to me. But it sucks that presents are considered the norm.
You know what? I'm sick of Valentine's Day. I'm sick of people talking about Valentine's Day. I'm sick of hearing about the special things people are going to be doing for their husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of the wave of Facebook posts that say "change your profile pic to one of you and your significant other and say how long you've been together." I'm sick of all the stupid hearts everywhere - and I like pink! I just get overwhelmed by the bombardment of the color everywhere this time of year.
Here's a good one: I'm sick of seeing commercials on TV for online dating websites. Give me a freaking break.
I'm sick of it all. I'm even sick of the "alternatives" to Valentine's Day. Anything for the "single folks" on the day is just a slap in the face. "Aww, you're alone! That's so sad!" It's always pity, even if it's pity disguised as a party or a TV episode or something of the sort. I don't want a pity party because I'm single.
I'd probably feel differently if I were in a relationship. I'd probably have plans to go out to a nice restaurant instead of plans of staying home and watching the Food Network in my pajamas. But in my entire life, I've had one date on Valentine's Day. And that day was fine. Not ideal, but fine. But in the end, he dumped me later that week. And I hate that. I hate that that one incident makes me hate Valentine's Day even more - and rather than just supporting all my other Valentine's hate, it just flares up a whole new feeling inside. It's the feeling that says, "no, you're not so bad off that you can't find anybody - you're even worse because you can't hold on to the ones you do find." And then I hate myself because that guy was so not worth it.
So there. I'm going to shut up now before I make myself feel even worse.
In other news, I've decided that I like shrimp. As long as it is battered and fried to the point where it no longer tastes like shrimp.
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