My dad has a cute story about when I was a little girl. I came home from school one day and told him about how I heard some kids saying the "F word" on the bus. Eventually he convinces me to tell him what the word was, and I tell him.
"Fart."
I thought "fart" was the f-word.
Today you think it's something else. But today I'm presenting a new F-word.
Fat.
Fat is the new f-word.
I don't want it to be a bad word. In fact, I think it's be best possible descriptor for my body type. I don't like saying I'm "overweight." That word implies that my weight is something other than normal. But for me, this IS normal.
In my life, I've never known what it's like to be "normal," that is - to be thin. I've been "big" my whole life. At least as long as I can remember, since it meant something. So how can thin = normal if it's something I've never experienced?
I am fat. I'm not overweight. I am obese, but I don't like that word. It's so... clinical. So technical. And it just sounds... awful. I don't like that, and I don't like thinking of myself this way.
Can we change it so that "fat" isn't a bad word? I don't want to put people in an awkward place when I say that I'm fat (because that happens - I see it on their face - they want to agree with me, but don't want to actually say it because I might get offended).
All that being said, I'm not giving up entirely on the whole losing weight thing. I'm going to try again soon (not tonight), and maybe someday I'll describe myself as something other than fat. But it's who I am right now. I can't deny that. You can't deny that. But you also can't feel bad about it. I don't need your pity - that isn't the magic calorie burner we all secretly hope it is. I need support. Take me for who I am, for what I am, for what I look like. Don't judge me, just accept me, and be my friend.
Someday, soon, I'm going to need support, acceptance, and friendship. I'm going to need walking buddies and recipe sharers.
But for now, I just need you to realize that this is who I am for the time being. I'm fat. And I'm ok with that.
Oh, one more thing - can we all agree to stop pretending like people are stupid just because they're fat? We don't eat constantly, we know what it takes, and we're not idiots. We're also not going to keel over and die next week just because we're fat. Yes, we're at a higher risk for some medical conditions, but it's not a guarantee that we're never going to see 50. People die at young ages regardless of weight. And we're sick of hearing about it, so just give it a rest, ok? We're not stupid. We're just fat.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Misery of Neil Patrick Harris
Have you read Steven King's "Misery"? Have you seen the movie? I haven't. But I know the subject matter.
See that chap in the picture up there? His name is Neil Patrick Harris. I brought him home a few weeks ago. What followed was a series of Facebook status updates about NPH locked in the TV room in my basement. To the uninformed reader, it seemed like I had kidnapped the human Neil Patrick Harris, and had him hobbled and locked in my basement.
All fun-and-games aside, I've been... a frazzled kitty-mommy in these first few weeks. While he was shut up in the TV room, I was worried about his eating habits, how he was constantly hiding. Then one day after he had free reign of the house, I couldn't find him when I got home from work. I freaked out, crying like a lunatic. He was fine, just hiding in the furnace room where I never go.
He's a lot more comfortable now. He even ventures up the stairs when he's feeling brave. Of course, he's kind of become attached to me. He meows a lot. He actually comes when I call him (sometimes he takes his time, but sometimes he comes running). He likes being petted.
He's a strange cat. He has no interest in catnip, but he has been known to chase his tail. I've seen it happen. He seems to get sad and upset when I'm not paying attention to him. It's like I got a fluffy cat-shaped puppy that knows how to use a litter box. But he does purr a lot. I like the purring.
I like having a cat. It's nice to have a pet and a companion. But it's still new. I'm still getting used to it. But I'm happy.
I'm already in love with the Neil Patrick Harris who lives in my basement.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Writing Update
So, it's been a while. Blogger sure has changed since I last posted in here!
All right. Remember how I was doing that whole writing-a-novel thing back in November? November is done and gone, and I emerged triumphantly with the first draft of a mediocre novel. Hooray!
Seriously, mediocre is a good thing for me. This was my 8th year participating in National Novel Writing Month, and it's the third time I've finished. It's the first time I've had a novel that I've even wanted to look at after the month was over - mediocre is the best I've achieved so far. In nearly a decade. So I'm going to take it and run with it.
I printed out the first couple chapters the other day, and I read the first two. It doesn't suck. It's not good, and it needs a ton of work, but I think I can actually do this.
For the first time, I'm going to seriously work on this thing to try to get it published. I'm actually feeling like a writer now - not just someone who wants to maybe be a writer someday. I'm a writer now. I'm going to make this thing good, I'm going to shop it around. I'll probably get a lot of rejections. But maybe someone will see the promise and give me a chance, like the guys who picked my story for the 30 Covers, 30 Days project.
Think about it - House Hunting in the Afterlife could be a real, honest-to-goodness book someday!
So I want to take this chance to say thank you to all of you, my loyal readers, for supporting me, encouraging me, for continuing to ask about my novel and word count during November. Thank you for taking an interest, and keeping me interested in my own project. It doesn't stop here. I just have a first draft. I need you all to keep encouraging me - ask me how the editing is going, ask to be one of my beta readers. I can't do this alone.
Thank you.
All right. Remember how I was doing that whole writing-a-novel thing back in November? November is done and gone, and I emerged triumphantly with the first draft of a mediocre novel. Hooray!
Seriously, mediocre is a good thing for me. This was my 8th year participating in National Novel Writing Month, and it's the third time I've finished. It's the first time I've had a novel that I've even wanted to look at after the month was over - mediocre is the best I've achieved so far. In nearly a decade. So I'm going to take it and run with it.
I printed out the first couple chapters the other day, and I read the first two. It doesn't suck. It's not good, and it needs a ton of work, but I think I can actually do this.
For the first time, I'm going to seriously work on this thing to try to get it published. I'm actually feeling like a writer now - not just someone who wants to maybe be a writer someday. I'm a writer now. I'm going to make this thing good, I'm going to shop it around. I'll probably get a lot of rejections. But maybe someone will see the promise and give me a chance, like the guys who picked my story for the 30 Covers, 30 Days project.
Think about it - House Hunting in the Afterlife could be a real, honest-to-goodness book someday!
So I want to take this chance to say thank you to all of you, my loyal readers, for supporting me, encouraging me, for continuing to ask about my novel and word count during November. Thank you for taking an interest, and keeping me interested in my own project. It doesn't stop here. I just have a first draft. I need you all to keep encouraging me - ask me how the editing is going, ask to be one of my beta readers. I can't do this alone.
Thank you.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Inspiration
Here is my motivation, my inspiration, my determination to finish my NaNoWriMo novel this year.
This is my cover:
Awesome, right?
It was designed by Scott Buschkuhl, who is a real, actual designer.
I absolutely love it. It's so perfect - now I just need to write a novel that lives up to its cover!
This is my cover:
Awesome, right?
It was designed by Scott Buschkuhl, who is a real, actual designer.
I absolutely love it. It's so perfect - now I just need to write a novel that lives up to its cover!
Monday, October 31, 2011
A New November
Once again, November is upon us. Once again, I'll be writing a novel.
I'm rather excited about this one. The novel itself is interesting, and different than anything I've written before. I'm delving into the humor/satire genre for the first time. I really hope it ends up being as funny as it is in my head. We won't know until I start writing, though.
It's called "House Hunting in the Afterlife." Here's the synopsis I wrote for the National Novel Writing Month website:
A young professional looking to buy her first house goes to bed one night dreaming of vaulted ceilings and hardwood floors and wakes up to the end of the world. After a quick stop at Target to see if they have any Missoni products left, she takes the Afterlife's Parade of Eternal Homes tour. If you're going to be living in a house for the rest of time, you better make sure it's something you can stand.
As I said, I'm excited about it. Another tag line could be, "In Heaven you don't need to bathe - in Hell, you don't get to."
It's funny, right? Man, I hope so.
There's something that the powers that be at NaNoWriMo headquarters have started doing the past few years. It's a project called "30 Covers, 30 Days." The idea is that a team of professional designers create covers for 30 novels being written each November. Based solely on the title and synopsis, I submitted my name for consideration. The other day, I got an email from the head of the team who picks the novels. "House Hunting in the Afterlife" was chosen as a finalist - my title and synopsis were being sent to a designer, who is also given 2 other titles for consideration. He gets to choose which one he'll make a cover for.
He picked my novel.
I got an email today asking for some more details on the novel, but the designer is reportedly "super excited" to design a cover for me.
To put this into perspective, thousands of people participate in NaNoWriMo worldwide. Hundreds (if not thousands) of people submitted titles for consideration to the 30 Covers, 30 Days project. 30 novels are chosen in the end. One cover, one novel, each day in November. One of those is mine.
One day in November, you'll see the cover for "House Hunting in the Afterlife." I'll be sure to share it with you.
I'm rather excited about this one. The novel itself is interesting, and different than anything I've written before. I'm delving into the humor/satire genre for the first time. I really hope it ends up being as funny as it is in my head. We won't know until I start writing, though.
It's called "House Hunting in the Afterlife." Here's the synopsis I wrote for the National Novel Writing Month website:
A young professional looking to buy her first house goes to bed one night dreaming of vaulted ceilings and hardwood floors and wakes up to the end of the world. After a quick stop at Target to see if they have any Missoni products left, she takes the Afterlife's Parade of Eternal Homes tour. If you're going to be living in a house for the rest of time, you better make sure it's something you can stand.
As I said, I'm excited about it. Another tag line could be, "In Heaven you don't need to bathe - in Hell, you don't get to."
It's funny, right? Man, I hope so.
There's something that the powers that be at NaNoWriMo headquarters have started doing the past few years. It's a project called "30 Covers, 30 Days." The idea is that a team of professional designers create covers for 30 novels being written each November. Based solely on the title and synopsis, I submitted my name for consideration. The other day, I got an email from the head of the team who picks the novels. "House Hunting in the Afterlife" was chosen as a finalist - my title and synopsis were being sent to a designer, who is also given 2 other titles for consideration. He gets to choose which one he'll make a cover for.
He picked my novel.
I got an email today asking for some more details on the novel, but the designer is reportedly "super excited" to design a cover for me.
To put this into perspective, thousands of people participate in NaNoWriMo worldwide. Hundreds (if not thousands) of people submitted titles for consideration to the 30 Covers, 30 Days project. 30 novels are chosen in the end. One cover, one novel, each day in November. One of those is mine.
One day in November, you'll see the cover for "House Hunting in the Afterlife." I'll be sure to share it with you.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Blog Challenge: Day 5
Day 5: A photo of yourself two years ago.
Yup, that's me two years ago. At least, the date the photo was uploaded to Facebook was two years ago. Actually, now that I think about it, that might be older than two years ago. How about another one?
Hmm. This is proving difficult. Two years ago was 2009. In 2009, Domo came into my life. I have a LOT of pictures of Domo. Like this one:
That was during Domo's first trip to Vegas, an he was enthralled by the Enchanted Unicorn slot machines.
Or this one:
Domo and a gorilla at the zoo in Omaha. That was his first trip with me. I found him in Omaha.
And of course, in 2009, Domo also traveled to Mexico:
He was a little paranoid about Mayan sacrifices.
Oh, and he also helped me move in 2009. Here's a picture from that:
All right, that's probably enough Domo pictures.
I'm completely amused that I took a blog post that was supposed to be all about me and turned it into a photo album of Domo around the world. I love blogging.
Yup, that's me two years ago. At least, the date the photo was uploaded to Facebook was two years ago. Actually, now that I think about it, that might be older than two years ago. How about another one?
Hmm. This is proving difficult. Two years ago was 2009. In 2009, Domo came into my life. I have a LOT of pictures of Domo. Like this one:
That was during Domo's first trip to Vegas, an he was enthralled by the Enchanted Unicorn slot machines.
Or this one:
Domo and a gorilla at the zoo in Omaha. That was his first trip with me. I found him in Omaha.
And of course, in 2009, Domo also traveled to Mexico:
He was a little paranoid about Mayan sacrifices.
Oh, and he also helped me move in 2009. Here's a picture from that:
All right, that's probably enough Domo pictures.
I'm completely amused that I took a blog post that was supposed to be all about me and turned it into a photo album of Domo around the world. I love blogging.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Blog Challenge: Day 4
Day 4: Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Ok, so this one is a little awkward. I don't really want to just post a photo of my best friend without her consent - and since I don't even use names (other than my own) in this blog, I'm not going to to post her face as well. So here's her tattoo.
She's got a story behind that as well, but it's also not my place to tell that story. But it looks cool, doesn't it?
I've known her for 20 years. Since 5th grade. That's a really long time. There are few people in this world (especially if you exclude family) who I've known that long. Even fewer people if you factor in who I'm still in touch with. From those early years? In touch with very few people I've known for 20 years or more.
Normally she and I would be hanging out tonight. It is Friday, after all. But she's busy tonight. Since I don't have a car, she's usually the rock star who drives me around, even though I'm often out of her way. We usually hang out on Fridays. Fridays are fun.
Ugh. I just realized how horrible this blog post is going. It's not fun to read, is it? I'm not really having the most fun writing it. Maybe it's time I told a story about my best friend.
Back in the day (were we in high school?), we decided to write a novel together. We didn't have a plan, we didn't have a plot. We didn't even have characters - though we probably hadn't even put an entire page of writing onto paper before we had a concept and a working title: A Princess and Some Dragons. And from there, the story of Camielle and the dragons began. I would describe it as a young adult novel. We did finish it, if you can believe it. We finished the first draft and started rewrites. The file still exists somewhere on my computer, and I believe I have an old printout of one of our drafts. I was supposed to send it off to a publisher after so many years, regardless of whether or not we had finished the revisions, but I haven't done it yet.
Maybe it's time to revisit "A Princess and Some Dragons." Actually, the title ended up being "The Dragon Stone," I believe. And we were going to make it into a trilogy.
I think I have a project for the weekend...
Ok, so this one is a little awkward. I don't really want to just post a photo of my best friend without her consent - and since I don't even use names (other than my own) in this blog, I'm not going to to post her face as well. So here's her tattoo.
She's got a story behind that as well, but it's also not my place to tell that story. But it looks cool, doesn't it?
I've known her for 20 years. Since 5th grade. That's a really long time. There are few people in this world (especially if you exclude family) who I've known that long. Even fewer people if you factor in who I'm still in touch with. From those early years? In touch with very few people I've known for 20 years or more.
Normally she and I would be hanging out tonight. It is Friday, after all. But she's busy tonight. Since I don't have a car, she's usually the rock star who drives me around, even though I'm often out of her way. We usually hang out on Fridays. Fridays are fun.
Ugh. I just realized how horrible this blog post is going. It's not fun to read, is it? I'm not really having the most fun writing it. Maybe it's time I told a story about my best friend.
Back in the day (were we in high school?), we decided to write a novel together. We didn't have a plan, we didn't have a plot. We didn't even have characters - though we probably hadn't even put an entire page of writing onto paper before we had a concept and a working title: A Princess and Some Dragons. And from there, the story of Camielle and the dragons began. I would describe it as a young adult novel. We did finish it, if you can believe it. We finished the first draft and started rewrites. The file still exists somewhere on my computer, and I believe I have an old printout of one of our drafts. I was supposed to send it off to a publisher after so many years, regardless of whether or not we had finished the revisions, but I haven't done it yet.
Maybe it's time to revisit "A Princess and Some Dragons." Actually, the title ended up being "The Dragon Stone," I believe. And we were going to make it into a trilogy.
I think I have a project for the weekend...
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